Being sick and emaciated for the past week or ten days has given me some time out of mind–you know, that kind of delirium that actually puts things into perspective–to assess my situation and life in general.
Downsized from my last job two years ago way before retirement time, but too old to be rehired when there’s young talent that’s cheaper and prettier out there, I basically fantasized for almost the whole time about how the gods were holding out a jewel for me at the end of my suffering.
Now, that reversal of fortune may still happen, but more likely this is it–rolling the Sisyphisian stone up the hill and watching it roll back down for the rest of my days. If I can hang on to what I have, fine, and if not, then I’ll go under. Given the fact that I’ve had to sell almost every piece of stock I own to survive these past two years, the trend would appear definitely down and the end not too far off.
Okay, so here’s the philosophical part: Having gone through this, I’ve realized that, as nice as my house and cars are, they are not my life, and my life will go on without them. That’s not much consolation, but at my age you may realize, as I have, that up or down are the only two directions you can go in life. If you’re staying still, don’t worry. You’re just in the eye of the storm; you won’t stay there forever.
If you go up, you can always go down. If you go down, you can always go up–but don’t count on it. Either way, you have a life to live and to ultimately understand outside the realm of success, wealth and accomplishment.
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